


In Dreams

by snowshus



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Trade Deadlines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 09:09:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13610139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowshus/pseuds/snowshus
Summary: New York is not bringing him back.





	In Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blueorangecrush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueorangecrush/gifts).



> Happy Valentines Day

Matt isn’t expecting anything as the trade deadline draws close. He has been given no indication management is unhappy with him. He isn’t safe the way Matthews is, or course, but he is the deal sweetener not the piece being offloaded, an important distinction in this line of work. He doesn’t even really want anything to come of the deadline. He is happy where he is. Toronto is great and he great at Toronto, which is a skill in and off itself. It’s not New York, but nowhere else in the world really is. There is just something a little extra about New York, something in the way it smells, salt and smoke and humanity pressed close, something in the way it shudders and shakes under his feet. the movement of all the people in and around it too much for the spindle like towers and reclaimed land to quite contain. Toronto, for all the ways it is alive and bursting at its seams, just can’t quite replicate it. And of course, that’s where Casey is and all the phone calls and skyping and facetimes and all the apps in the world that promise clearer connections, better pictures, to bring you closer, as close as possible, can’t quite bridge the physical space. They can’t bring Casey’s hand through to touch, can’t replicate the warm skin Matt remembers. 

The hours tick to the deadline and Matt lets the kids drag him out to busy streets where he can’t be checking his phone every five minutes for a call he doesn’t expect or even want. New York is not bringing him back.

There is not much of an actual age gap between Matt and the kids, more of an experience gap, but it makes him feel old. They hum with this energy, this desperate falling over themselves eager need to prove how grown-up they are, that they are men, and they can play with the men. Matt doesn’t tell them to slow down, that they don’t need to grow up all at once and they couldn’t even if they wanted to. They wouldn’t listen. He certainly didn’t. It took most of those early years with Casey to discover growing up is a thing of fits and spurts, half by accident and half only when you make the decision. Matt still feels like that, barely an adult, barely sure what he’s doing at any given moment. 

As much as Matt tries not to pay attention, he still knows exactly when the deadline passes without a phone call. The twists of tension loosens, no more wondering, no more foolish hopes, back to reality. They have a game tomorrow.

He has a snap waiting when he checks his phone again. Casey and Cal playing poker in a hotel room with their rookies. Casey points at his giant pile of money. 

_Alright already, you can be my plus one at the NHL awards,_ Matt sends back. 

_Uh-uh, you’re gonna be mine,_ he gets back.

_Miss you_

_Love you_

It’s not quite the same as being in the room. Casey warm at his side winning back all the money Matt loses. Casey’s soft voice in his ear, breathe warm and wet on his neck when he says “I love you.” It will do though, it’s enough. It’s Casey, so it will be enough.


End file.
